What to wear as a friend-and-family wedding officiant.

This post offers wedding officiant outfit inspiration for women. Scroll down to see examples of good vs. bad options, and to check out my Pinterest board with lots of options!

So your best friend asked you to officiate their wedding. First off, congrats, it’s a huge honor. Second, you might be wondering (among many things), “What should I wear?” When you search Google, you’re likely to find options for professional officiants: people who officiate the ceremony and then leave immediately after. The ‘fit choices for pros are rather straight forward—professional officiants should wear something professional and somewhat conservative. The outfit equation is a bit different story for friends asked to officiate, however, particularly for women, or anyone who wants to dress with a more feminine edge as an officiant. This blog post offers guidance on what to wear as a female officiant asked to officiate a friend or loved one’s wedding.

To my male brethren—I’ve got a post for you coming soon 🙂

Step 1: Ask the couple’s preference.

When in doubt, ask. Aside from the obvious (don’t wear white), the couple might have a desired color palette they’d like you to adhere to. Alternatively, the couple might have preferences around what you wear that you might not know about. 

Hopefully they don’t, but it’s better to err on the safe side.  

Step 2: Consider the overall vibe of the wedding.

This is not the time to make huge fashion statements or pull too much focus. Allow this to be the couple’s moment. Beyond that, however, pay attention to the following:

• What will be behind you when you’re officiating? During the first wedding I officiated, I wore a green and white floral dress that blended in with the awning and the verdant background. I loved the dress, but I was bummed by some of the pictures where I just faded into the backdrop.
• What are the color themes of the wedding? Per step 1, ask the couple about this.
• What is the wedding location and attire suggestion?

Lastly, I would also consider avoiding black. Black absorbs light so doesn’t always photograph well. If you want to wear a dark color, navy blue and dark browns will be better options for you.

Step 3: Some general wedding officiant outfit advice and guidance.

You can take what follows with a grain of salt as these are mostly my hot takes. BUT, I think they’re good ones.

Here’s the central thrust of my opinion: I believe that the outfit a friend or family member asked to officiate wears should be distinctly different from wedding guest attire in a few specific ways. 

First, you are not a bridesmaid, so don’t dress like one.

Allow me to share a few images to demonstrate. The images below are dresses that have been recurring on several of my style-inspiration Pinterest boards. I would love to wear one of these as a wedding guest.

Meow.

As an officiant, however, your outfit choice should reflect that you are in a leadership position at the wedding, not just another guest. Your outfit carries additional import.

Even if the couple doesn’t care what you wear, I believe that officiant outfits for women should reflect the distinction of your position and there’s something that doesn’t sit right with these ‘fits. They don’t carry the air of professionalism we’re looking for. This doesn’t mean you’re not allowed to have fun! I know that you want to look good (real good) up there! Additionally, I hope you plan to tear up the dance floor after, and I imagine you want to wear something you’re excited about. At the same time, your job is to allow attendees to fully focus on the couple while subtly communicating confidence, grace, swagger, ease, and perhaps a healthy dose of je ne sais quoi.

While writing this blog post, I started wondering…is it because of some internalized patriarchal socialization that I don’t see these feminine looks as professional? Do I subconsciously think I need to look masculine in order to convey professionalism?

Luckily, what I realized is that you can still wear something quite feminine while making subtle adjustments to make the outfit work for officiating.

But here’s the secret: you’ve gotta add a layering piece to the outfit.

Layering: the key to transforming your Wedding Guest Outfit into an Officiant Outfit.

Use these images to demonstrate an overall concept, not as overly prescriptive rules.

The key takeaway is the power of adding a shawl, bolero, shrug, or duster.

These layering pieces can add that professional element while still allowing you to wear a beautiful, wedding-guest like dress underneath. This additional piece will allow you to show up in a more conservative look for the ceremony, but you can then take it off and BAM—you’re ready to party.

Also, I think it’s worth taking note of the brooches in images two and six. There’s something kinda papal about a brooch, so this might be a fun element to play with to pay homage to the religious elements of the officiant role (even if you’re not religious, I find this fun).

Menswear inspired officiant outfits for women.

Alternatively, if these vibes aren’t doin’ for you, might I suggest some menswear!?

I’ll show my hand a bit here: I love menswear. Love it love it love it. I love playing with feminine elements within a masculine construct, so this tends to be my bias. If you’re in a similar boat, I highly recommend playing with suiting or a sexy, matching set. HECK there are so many good suits and sets out there for women these days. Check it.

Heck! 🥵

Check out my curated Pinterest Board for More Officiant Outfit Inspiration

These are just ideas to get you thinking. If you want more inspiration, you can check out my Pinterest board. It’s full of officiant outfits for femme-focused individuals. I’ll continue to update this as I find new wedding officiant outfits!

Remember, my guidance is just that: guidance. These aren’t hard and fast rules by any means. Use your best judgment and feel free to reach out with any questions. I love fashion and am here for you if you want to send me a quick note.

Additionally, if you need help writing your wedding ceremony, check out my course “More Than Words.” This course will help you write a phenomenal ceremony with confidence. You’ll learn how to write and deliver a Modern Love worthy story that your friends will treasure forever.

If you’re not ready to commit to the course, you can check out my Free Guide: “The Thoughtful Friend’s Guide to Officiating.”

All the love,
Katie